[16:44] <@ChefHatchet> -- START --
[16:44] <@Duncan|> (After my dentist appointment.)
[16:44] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades into a cemetery*
[16:44] <@ChefHatchet> *eerie music plays*
[16:44] <@ChefHatchet> *screen zooms into a gravestone that reads "CHEF HATCHET"*
[16:44] <@ChefHatchet> *hand pops out of grave and frightful music plays*
[16:45] <@ChefHatchet> *a ghost-like Chef Hatchet appears from the grave, transparent and irritated*
[16:45] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Hmph. Welcome to the Total Drama Roleplay 100th Episode Special.
[16:45] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I'm Chef. >_>"
[16:45] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I was SUPPOSED to be hosting the 100th episode, but since I died, Chris gave the role to that Richard Daris kid.
[16:45] <@Mygeto> (Is Chef's first name Chef?)
[16:45] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Luckily, I took care of him. ;)
[16:45] <@ChefHatchet> (Maybe. It's implied.)
[16:45] <@ChefHatchet> *screen pans over to Richard, who is tied up and locked in a closet, unable to speak due to the duct tape that covers his mouth*
[16:45] <@Mygeto> (Aight.)
[16:45] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *evil snicker*
[16:46] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Man, I wish I was still alive. This whole "Total Drama" show is dyin' without me.
[16:46] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *walks left; scenery immediately changes from a cemetery to a tiny room with black walls, black floors, and a black ceiling*
[16:46] <DiedsenBoy> (Fear of the beginning, so tense!)
[16:46] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *sits on a director's chair and takes out a cup of tea, sips it*
[16:46] <@Duncan|> (Wait, Ghosts go through stuff, how'd he tie up Richard?)
[16:46] <@ChefHatchet> (Bigez, this episode is hosted by a dead guy. The facts are going to be a little sketchy.)
[16:47] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Mmm. Well, this is definitely one of them creepy episodes.
[16:47] <@Duncan|> (True.)
[16:47] <Brock|> (Chef being alive is giving kids the wrong message)
[16:47] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: What? You've never seen a dead guy on reality TV before? :@
[16:47] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Hmph.
[16:47] <DiedsenBoy> (No...)
[16:47] <@Mygeto> (Ghosts can choose when they are and when they're not touchable.)
[16:47] <Brock|> (Younger RP viewers will think dead people can come back to life. D:)
[16:47] == Fionna [4bb6309b@gateway/web/freenode/ip.] has joined #TDWIKI-RP
[16:47] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Anyways, we ain't doin' somethin' cheesy for this episode, like a music video montage, or a series recap.
[16:48] <LucyHeartfiliaS2> (They cannot?)
[16:48] <+Noah|> (Hey Zach. It's Toad.)
[16:48] <@ChefHatchet> (Wait, seriously? @Mygeto)
[16:48] <@Duncan|> (That's only been shown in Regular Show.)
[16:48] <@TDAddict> (Mygeto's right.)
[16:48] <@Duncan|> (@Mygeto)
[16:48] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Nawww.
[16:48] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Instead, we'll be takin' a good look at all the people I helped when I was still alive.
[16:48] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Now, listen. On Total Drama, I was portrayed as a loud, mean, war-lovin' cook.
[16:48] <Brock|> (Naw I saw it a few times too. @Bigez)
[16:48] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: But I'm more than just a yeller. I'm also a helper.
[16:48] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: And, believe it or not, I actually helped the show more than y'all think.
[16:48] <DiedsenBoy> (Yeller? What the hel...per...)
[16:48] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I remember helpin' out four lonely, confused, bitter, and angry contestants that refused to look on the bright side.
[16:49] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: So, let's show some unaired footage provin' to y'all that I really was a nice guy.
[16:49] <Brock|> (a yeller? Like the dog?)
[16:49] <@ChefHatchet> *screen flashes to Chef beating a squirrel helplessly with a bat*
[16:49] <Brock|> (Old Yeller. Did he die in that movie I forget.)
[16:49] <@TDAddict> (Yeller, Chef's way of saying he's a person who yells a lot.)
[16:49] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: ...not that one.
[16:49] <@ChefHatchet> *screen flashes to the boys' cabin at Camp Awesomeness, where Beth frantically throws items around the cabin*
[16:50] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] Ah, yes, this one.
[16:50] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] Beth was never exactly a popular girl. But she was kind, and she believed in positive energy.
[16:50] <@Duncan|> (I gtg for like, 2 minutes or so but I'll be back.)
[16:50] <@Mygeto> (He got shot.) @TDF
[16:50] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] So, when she lost her lucky retainer, I couldn't bare to watch her suffer.
[16:50] <+Beth|> Gah!! Where is it, where is it, where is it? My retainer! I can't find it anywhere!
[16:50] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *walks by the boys' cabin and sees Beth in tears*
[16:50] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Beth? ._.
[16:50] == Duncan| [] has quit [Quit: Public PJIRC @]
[16:50] <+Beth|> *sniffles*
[16:50] <+Beth|> Chef! I-I didn't...I wasn't...I was just...
[16:50] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Spit it out, soldier. :@
[16:51] <+Beth|> *stands up*
[16:51] <+Beth|> I was looking for my retainer, Chef. I think one of the boys might have taken it, because I looked everywhere in the girls' cabin, and...
[16:51] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: You can't find it?
[16:51] <+Beth|> *wipes a tear away*
[16:51] <+Beth|> I need my lucky retainer. If I lose it, I'm going to have to get braces. D:
[16:51] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Back in my day, everyone had braces. But they sucked it up. They weren't weak and sassy like you teenagers nowadays, with your cellphones, TV, and your-
[16:51] <+Beth|> You know what, Chef? I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now. :@
[16:52] <+Beth|> My retainer helped me win all those challenges, and if I don't find it by tomorrow, I'm doomed! So, just cram it and leave. :-@
[16:52] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *sigh*
[16:52] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] Yeah, that girl wasn't too fond of me. But I saw the sadness in her eyes, and something just went off all up inside of me.
[16:52] <DiedsenBoy> (Beth has a retainer?)
[16:52] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I'll help you find your retainer, girlie.
[16:52] <+Beth|> O_O""
[16:52] <+Beth|> Really? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!! ^_^"
[16:52] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Where was the last place you said you saw it?
[16:53] <+Beth|> Probably when I was eating my breakfast this morning.
[16:53] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: :o
[16:53] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: THAT'S IT!!
[16:53] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: My rat-tail omelet.
[16:53] <+Beth|> What? D:
[16:53] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *runs out of the room*
[16:54] <+Beth|> Rat-tail omelet?
[16:54] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *runs back minutes later with Beth's shiny retainer*
[16:54] <+Beth|> :o THANKS, CHEF!! ^_^"
[16:54] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: No problem, chicken-thighs.
[16:54] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades out*
[16:54] <@TDAddict> (PWND.)
[16:54] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *snickers* Beth's not the only troubled teen I helped, though.
[16:54] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades into the craft services tent during the second season*
[16:55] <DiedsenBoy> (Rat-tail omelet? What?)
[16:55] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] There was also that delinquent, Duncan.
[16:55] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] He and I never got along. Little rascal. But I managed to find it in my heart to help him out when he needed it most.
[16:55] <+Duncan|> Duncan: *walks into the craft services tent, looking around nervously*
[16:55] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *pops up out of nowhere* Yo, Duncan. What you lookin' at?
[16:56] <+Duncan|> *sighs*
[16:56] <+Duncan|> Nothing, Chef. You can go make your slop now; there's nothing interesting going on here.
[16:56] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Son, are you havin'...girl troubles?
[16:56] <+Duncan|> O_O
[16:56] <+Duncan|> Wha-me? Girl troubles? A-a-as if. Duncans do not HAVE "girl troubles."
[16:56] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Mmmmmmhm. <_<
[16:56] <+Duncan|> *scratches head* Y-y'know, except occasionally, maybe. :-/
[16:57] <+Duncan|> Alright, alright. I'm having a little teeny problem with finding a gift for Courtney.
[16:57] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Courtney? She ain't even in this season. Why do you need to give that lawyer-lovin', insubordinate maggot a gift?
[16:57] <+Duncan|> I know, I know. But it's our one-month anniversary, and I need to get her something nice so I can mail it to the aftermath studio.
[16:57] <+Duncan|> I'm not sure what, though.
[16:57] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Well, what have you thought about getting?
[16:57] <+Duncan|> I carved a skull into the back of a tree. You think maybe I could chop it down and send it to her?
[16:57] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: ...
[16:57] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Duncan, m'boy, you need to find that girl something that she really wants.
[16:58] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: She don't want no expensive gift, or chopped-up tree. She wants something from the heart.
[16:58] <+Duncan|> L-like what?
[16:58] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Hm.
[16:58] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Tell ya what. It's only six o'clock. The contestants are scheduled to wake up in about two hours. Maybe we could bake a cake or somethin-
[16:58] <+Duncan|> Cake? Two problems with that; I can't cook, and neither can you.
[16:58] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: BOI, DO YOU NEED HELP OR NOT? :@
[16:58] <+Duncan|> Okay, okay, I'll let you bake her a cake, sheesh.
[16:59] <+Duncan|> But do I really have to help you?
[16:59] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Mmmmmmhm.
[17:00] <+Duncan|> Duncan: *sighs* Fine. How hard could it be?
[17:00] <@ChefHatchet> *screen flashes over one hour later; Chef and Duncan stand by a squashed, burned cake*
[17:01] == WebkinzMania [] has left #TDWIKI-RP []
[17:01] <+Duncan|> Duncan: *groans* It looks...
[17:01] == Duncan| has changed nick to Duncanez
[17:01] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: It looks like you cooked throw-up.
[17:02] <Duncanez> Duncan: But our anniversary is today, and the challenge is starting any minute now!
[17:02] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Listen, m'boy. I know it isn't exactly a work of art-
[17:02] <Duncanez> Duncan: It's nowhere near a work of art. We had to put it in the microwave to save time!! >.>
[17:02] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Dude, I'd honestly just mail it to her. If she don't like it, then maybe she isn't the girl for you.
[17:02] <Duncanez> (I don't have a mouse so this is taking long. >.>)
[17:03] <Duncanez> Chef: Dude, I'd honestly just mail it to her. If she don't like it, then maybe she isn't the girl for you.
[17:03] <Duncanez> Duncan: *sighs* Alright. Thanks, Chef.*
[17:03] <@ChefHatchet> (You're not very smart.)
[17:03] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: No problem, danger boy.
[17:03] <Duncanez> (Eff you, you play Duncan then. >.>)
[17:03] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades out*
[17:03] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Man, do I know how to bake a good cake.
[17:03] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: But cakes weren't going to solve this next problem.
[17:03] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades into the Total Drama Jumbo Jet in season three*
[17:04] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] Lindsay. She was blonde, beautiful, and smart.
[17:04] == Duncanez has changed nick to Bigez
[17:04] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] Well, maybe not so much the last one.
[17:04] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] But she knew how to throw a heck of a fit.
[17:04] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: *is seen crying in her room as mascara runs down her cheeks*
[17:04] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *grumbles and irritatedly sweeps Lindsay's cabin*
[17:04] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: *sniffles* Cheffie? Oh, Chef, I'm so glad you're here!
[17:05] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: What is it now? <_<
[17:05] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: Oh, Chef, something horrible happened. D:
[17:05] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: Today, Heather got eliminated!! :(
[17:05] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Uh, yeah, that's...too bad.
[17:05] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: She lost her chance at the million!
[17:06] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I guess that's not very good... ._.
[17:06] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: She almost got eaten by a shark!!
[17:06] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Okay, that one's a little funny. :|
[17:06] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: But that's not the bad part. Before Heather left, she...she called me...
[17:06] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: *sniffles* She called me a night-wit.
[17:06] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: You mean a nitwit, right?
[17:06] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: That's what I said. And, like, I'm not a night-wit, right? She was being really mean.
[17:06] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Well, that's how Heather is.
[17:07] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: But she was really nice to me during the season. I don't know if I'm going to ever forgive her. What do I do?
[17:07] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *sighs, puts broom down*
[17:07] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Lindsay, Heather is manipulative, mean, and deluded.
[17:07] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: I don't know what those words mean. :(
[17:07] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: ... she ain't nice.
[17:07] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: :o
[17:07] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: So, you think I should never talk to her ever, ever again?
[17:07] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Wait, but lemme finish.
[17:07] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Heather may be all those things, but I ain't sayin' that she isn't a good person inside.
[17:08] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Sure, she called you a lotta mean things. But whatcha need to understand is that she don't mean to hurt you.
[17:08] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: And the only reason she acts like that is because she feels lonely and sad.
[17:08] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: So, I should forgive her?
[17:08] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: That's not what I'm sayin', either. Keep up, dollface. >_>
[17:08] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I think Heather is a kind girl inside. But that don't mean that she can go around treatin' people like rubbish.
[17:08] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: You don't have to be her friend. But I'd suggest forgivin' and forgettin'.
[17:08] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: What if I don't want to forgive and forget? :(
[17:08] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Then don't. Lindsay, somewhere down the road, you will manage to forgive Heather.
[17:08] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: But if you ain't ready for it right now, then I'd say, follow your heart.
[17:09] <+Lindsay> Lindsay: Okay. Thanks, Chef. :)
[17:09] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: No problem, girlie.
[17:09] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades out*
[17:09] == Nalyd-Grrr [43fc3340@gateway/web/freenode/ip.] has joined #TDWIKI-RP
[17:09] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Hmph. Like I always say, forgiveness is the best trait anyone can have.
[17:09] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Another great trait to have is courage and confidence.
[17:09] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Which brings me to my fourth and final contestant; Noah.
[17:09] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades into the Celebrity Manhunt studio*
[17:10] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] I actually helped Noah out right before I pretend-killed him.
[17:10] == Ale-Alejandro [] has quit [Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.87 [Firefox 3.6.22/20110902133716]]
[17:10] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: [narration] It was fun. Hehehe.
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[17:11] <Lindseyfan101> hello
[17:11] <+Noah|> IK
[17:11] <+Noah|> *walks down a long, narrow hallway*
[17:11] <+Noah|> (SorrY> I was brb'ing)
[17:11] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *grabs Noah from out of nowhere*
[17:11] <+Noah|> O_o GAAAAAAAAAH!
[17:11] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *holds up knife and chuckles* Well, Noah, I guess it's time to meet the end.
[17:11] <+Noah|> Oh. It's just you. I thought you were a raccoon.
[17:11] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: <_<
[17:11] <+Noah|> Listen, Chef. I know you're not actually killing everyone. Trust me; I saw Eva's dead body, and let me tell you, I knew from first glance that the blood was ketchup.
[17:12] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Why didn't you tell anyone, then?
[17:12] <+Noah|> Meh. I hate these losers, anyways. Why not watch them go nuts and think a psycho is killing them?
[17:12] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *snickers* I'm using a tranquilizer gun.
[17:12] <+Noah|> Riiiiiight.
[17:12] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: What's the matter, Noah? You look more blue than Geoff that time he accidentally locked himself in the freezer.
[17:12] <+Noah|> Whatevs. It's not like it matters. I'm just... Er... I just don't want to leave the show, mkay?
[17:12] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: What? I thought you hated Total Drama Roleplay.
[17:13] <+Noah|> Of course I hate it! But I can't go back to my high school.
[17:13] == TDAddict [] has quit [Quit: Public PJIRC @]
[17:13] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: And why not?
[17:13] <+Noah|> Because all my friends are mindless, brain-dead, zombie dorks. And you'd think that being head of student council would have some benefits, but the only perks I get are free coffee and free usage of the library's photocopier.
[17:13] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: So, you're going to MISS the "losers" on this show? :|
[17:14] <+Noah|> Meh. I wouldn't say MISS. :|
[17:14] == TDAddict [] has joined #TDWIKI-RP
[17:14] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I would. Noah, I think you need to start bein' a little nicer to people. There's a reason that people think of you as season three's villain. You're more of a buzzkill than Heather and Courtney.
[17:14] <+Noah|> Speaking of which, nice job killing off Courtney. I was actually happy that she was gone.
[17:14] <TDAddict> (How much I miss? :c)
[17:14] <@ChefHatchet> (Not much.)
[17:14] <TDAddict> (Last thing I saw was Chef talking about confidence or whatever.)
[17:14] <@ChefHatchet> (You can read the transcript later.)
[17:14] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: That's exactly what I mean. You need to start bein' nice to the friends you have on this show, and the friends you have in school, or you'll have no friends at all pretty soon.
[17:14] * Noah| sighs.
[17:14] <+Noah|> I guess I could make an effort to be a little bit... brash.
[17:14] <+Noah|> * a little bit less... brash.
[17:15] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Oh, and stop usin' words like "brash". What are you, a forty-year-old soccer mom? Toughen up, bro. >_>
[17:15] <+Noah|> Will do, "bra."
[17:15] * Noah| rolls his eyes
[17:15] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Great. Now I gots to kill you.
[17:15] <+Noah|> All right. How's this gonna work? Are you just gonna make me sleep, or--
[17:15] * Noah| is shot by a tranquilizer gun
[17:15] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: *snickers and begins to cover Noah in ketchup*
[17:16] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades out*
[17:16] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Well, there you go. Those were the four contestants that I helped during my time on the show.
[17:16] == Brock| [~Totoro|@] has quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
[17:16] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: And guess who the only four people who showed up to my funeral were?
[17:16] == Lindsay [62fd9f88@gateway/web/freenode/ip.] has left #TDWIKI-RP []
[17:16] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: Beth, Lindsay, Duncan, and Noah. *snickers*
[17:16] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: It just goes to show you. Always help those in need.
[17:16] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: A'ight. I gotta go back to being dead now.
[17:16] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: I have to play cards with Joan of Arc in about two minutes.
[17:16] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: We've been trying to beat King Henry, but he can't seem to give up. >_>
[17:17] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: This has been Chef Hatchet, former cook in Total Drama Roleplay.
[17:17] <@ChefHatchet> Chef: See y'all later. ;)
[17:17] <@ChefHatchet> *within moments, Chef vanishes into thin air*
[17:17] <@ChefHatchet> *the screen pans over to his gravestone, which reads, "CHEF HATCHET"*
[17:17] <@ChefHatchet> *screen fades to black*
[17:17] == WebkinzMania [] has joined #TDWIKI-RP
[17:17] <@ChefHatchet> -- END --

Total Drama World transcripts
Pre-merge Welcome to the World | Total Drama Fiesta! | Chris-to Redentor | It's UK to Skydive | World War Fun | Aqua-Holics
Post-merge Chris and the Chocolate Factory | No Grace in Greece | Pyramid Forbid | Made in China | Surfin' Hawaii | Kangar-Oops Jack | D.R.A.M.A
Aftermaths and specials The Second Airport-Math | The Third Airport-Math | The Fourth Airport-Math | Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama Special
Total Drama School transcripts
Pre-merge Prepare to Be Schooled | Grapes of Math | According to Gym | Bringing Xe Back | Cool Hand Puke | Of Rats and Men | Almost Maimed | Love Game | You Wood Be Shocked
Post-merge The Sound of Mercury | Arts and Craps | Eiffel Cowards | Viciously Unhealthy | Dollars and Sense | Writer's Shock | Robotched | Memories of our Lives | Heart of the Bull
Aftermaths and specials Totally Rejected!
Total Drama Cruise transcripts
Pre-merge Welcome to the Cruise | Scrapvenger Hunt | Slidewinders | Mean Cuisine | Island of the Apes | Fish Frenzy Water Wipeout | Rock Your Boat
Post-merge Crazy, Stupid, Puke | My Big Lame Cruise Wedding | Return to Boney Island | Ugly Eye for the Hot Guy | Zebra Cruising | Pirate's Life for Me | Do the Hula | Goodbye
Aftermaths and specials Total Drama Roleplay's 100th Episode Special
Total Drama: Return to the Island transcripts
Pre-merge Off the Deep End | All or NUT-thing | Forbidden Talent | Hide and Shriek | Silent Night, Lunar Fright | She, Robot? | Chickens or the Egg | Whatever Floats Your Boat | Swallow Your Pride
Post-merge Despicable He | Pedal to the Metal | Fashionleasta | Fight Liar with Fire | This Ain't The End
Aftermaths and specials Season Six Recap
Total Drama: Heroes vs. Villains transcripts
Pre-merge Welcome to Camp Suckiness... Again! | Here Today, Gun Tomorrow | Pukelear Warfare | Hole in Two | Shark Fail | Alexis & Alex's Eggcellent Adventure | TARget Outta Here!
Post-merge Trustin' You Ain't Easy | Ice-Capades | Beauties and the Bear | Live and Let Dare | The Very Last Episode, Really This Time!
Aftermaths and specials Season Seven Recap